Posts Tagged ‘confidence’

Time for Change

Saturday, January 7th, 2012

I love my job. I love working with people. It’s one of those jobs that even when I’m out socially, people inevitably have questions. They’re curious about my work – I’m curious about people in general and so I often find myself in chatty conversation about what it would be like to work together.

As I run training courses both in therapy and business communication skills all around the UK and Europe, I meet a lot of new people. And that’s a lot of curious people from a complete range of different backgrounds.

One aspect of my work that I really wanted to get across on my Website was the question I’m most frequently asked.

‘What happens in a Cognitive Hypnotherapy session?’

I’m not sure I’ve ever managed to explain it sufficently no matter how many years and edits the website can go through.

Sure, I could outline the basic format. We start with a conversation about what you’d like to change or improve in your life. Then, we’ll work through a therapeutic exercise together and the session will usually finish with some relaxation work.

This seems so vague though – and that’s the challenge. As the sessions are bespoke for the individual who comes to see me, no two sessions are the same.

There’s often overlaps – there’s certainly patterns and behaviours that some people repeat where i’ve seen many similar before. Yet, no matter how many clients I see and work with – there is always something new. And that’s what makes us so wonderful as human beings.
We don’t fit into a manual or a textbook. There isn’t a magic formula – it’s only through a process of engagement that is two ways that your life can really change.

I frequently get phone calls/emails ‘My friend came to see you and you did X and Y, will we do the same thing?’ And the most honest, congruent answer I can give is ‘I don’t know.’

It’s not until we’re in the therapy office, having a conversation in which you outline what you’d like to change and how you’d like it to be different – that I’ll be able to determine the best course of action that will help.

There’s not one magic formula for working with people with confidence issues or low self esteem, every phobia is different. Our anxiety or depressions are unique to us and we all cope with stress in different ways.

Cognitive Hypnotherapy takes the best elements of different therapies such as CBT, NLP, Pyschotherapy, Jungian Theory, Gestalt work and I find the right combination to get the most effective results at the fastest rate possible for you.

I believe strongly in a dialogue during our time together – to find out how you’re finding the experience both in and out of the therapy/coaching room during our work together.

So I’m still not there in explaining it quite as succinctly as I’d like – but I think we know why. It’s very much something that talking about can be limiting, but actually for the benefits – it’s there to be experienced.

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and NLP Trainer working at 1 Harley Street, London. He works with a variety of issues ranging from building confidence to low self esteem.Dea ling with stress and anxiety, phobic reactions and performance improvement.
To find out more about his unique mix of formal therapy, a conversational style and hypnosis – please call on 07738088632 or email at info@zackpolanski.com

Ethics

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

In the work I do, as there often is in life,there’s often a real push and pull between what clients want and their willingness to get it.

I make it clear on the site – and always whenever people phone me for an appointment – that Cognitive Hypnotherapy is not a magic bullet. It’s not a miracle cure yet it can do incredibly, effective things and has helped countless amounts of people move on in their lives within that parameter.

Often it can look like magic,and change can more often than not feel effortless and people are amazed at the results – it does require work from the client, though. Or at least their attention and effort in bringing about the changes they want on an unconscious level.

This might make it sound a little less cool or sellable – I have no problem with that, though. It’’s honest; and it doesn’t take anything away from the fact that it’s still an incredible tool for change.

This isn’t unique to Cognitive Hypnotherapy. In other areas I have worked, studied and researched – whether it be more traditional modes like pyschotherapy, counselling or CBT – there’s often this parallel between really great results emerging not from the therapist,but the client. The therapist acts as a guide to reach the areas that the client didn’t even know were accessible previously.

This is particularly prevalent with something like ‘Stop Smoking.’ People phone me up and want a success rate percentage. That’s easy,I say. It’s 100% of the time when the person is committed to the work, and 0% of the time when they’re not. It sounds playful -  I also think it’s fair, honest and ethical.

Cognitive Hypnotherapy is made up of truly effective principles and techniques to ensure that people get the result they want especially when it’s important to them. I don’t just not guarantee because it’s more ethical – I do it because it makes me life easier as well.

How? Well, I generally only want someone in the room with me during treatment who genuinely wants to make a change – and is willing to take responsibility for that change too. This is how truly transformational change happens.

Sometimes someone has the absolute desire to change but doesn’t quite believe it can happen – this is completely different again. If the desire is there, then we can find the how and we can move to engage and work together. The belief is helpful, but not necessary for a positive outcome.

And those positive outcomes when they’re met are often far and beyond what the individual thought could happen in such a relatively brief amount of time – and it’s lovely because they’ve always been met in an ethical way, which emphasised not the skill of the therapist alone, but the autonomy of the client and the inner resources available to them.

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist working at 1 Harley Street. He works with a variety of issues including confidence, self-esteem, phobias, smoking cessation, addictions, public speaking, PTSD and body disorders. Sessions must be booked 7 days in advance. Phone: 07738088632 or E-mail: info@zackpolanski.com

Friday, August 19th, 2011

This week has been a really interesting week of working with people; From seeing people with phobias, to anxiety disorders, addictions, depression and obsessive behaviour.

Something that’s really struck me about the work I do with people is their bravery. There are very few universals in the clients that I see- and everyone is very unique and different- but there’s something deeply touching about people’s wants, needs and desires to change. Often when people have come to see me, they’ve given up in the past and that’s how they’ve let their problem(s)/issue(s) get to a level where they really desire to make a change or they’re so keen to improve their lives from the state they feel they’re already in- that they go at it with full force.

I was reflecting on this when I read a passage last night from Irvin Yalom’s “The Gift Of Therapy” and there was a short passage which really struck a chord;

“Heddeger spoke of two modes of existence; the everyday mode and the ontological mode. In the everyday mode we are consumed with and distracted by material surroundings- we are filled with wonderment about how things are in the world. In the ontological mode we are focused on being per se- that is , we are filled with wonderment that things are in the world. When we exist in the ontological mode- the realm beyond everyday concerns- we are in a state of particular readiness for personal change.”

The key phrase I believe is the latter. Clients don’t usually get through my door until they’re already ready to begin to make that personal change- and being ready to make a difference in any aspect of your life often requires bravery.

The Catch 22 is that i’m not wholly sure if it’s the bravery that creates readiness or vice versa or if actually they’re both just fueling along. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter- the important part is the decision. Are you ready, and indeed brave enough, to make changes in your life?

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at 1 Harley Street, London. W1G 9QD

The Lewis Clinic is a clinic of hypnotherapists working from the centre of London at Harley St, but also includes many clients from North, South, East and West.

My friend is in a real bad way…..

Friday, July 29th, 2011

A common theme, it appears, amongst my clients whether they are private clients, well known people in the public sphere or corporations is the struggle to find the right balance between dependency and independence.

The most startling example is that of Relationships. I’m sure most people know someone, or have been there themselves, where they are in a partnership that doesn’t feel entirely equal. There’s the dangerous ground of playing a symetrical game of assuming that A does something for B, and then B has to reciprocate before A does something else.

This seems so cold and cynical, and rarely does the relationship operate like that in terms of what’s actually said – but frequently, much more telling is the deeper lying structure of how the dynamic organises itself.

I was struck by a small story printed in the Boston Globe on March 20th 1987. It’s about a lady called Susan Butcher. (With thanks to Mary Catherine Bateson for the story came to my attention in her marvellous book, Composing A Life.)

The Iditarod, the 1,157 mile dogsled race across Alaska has been won repeatedly by Susan. This gruelling course was originally set up to be run to save lives at a time when serum was desperately needed in Nome to combat an epidemic.  Now, as a  race, this mode of caring and service has been converted into a straight out compeitition. Yet it is clear that even in this competitive framework, Butcher excells at taking care of her dogs.

At every rest stop in the 1987 race, her rival Rick Swenson left early, while Butcher gave her dogs the full four-hour rest time; she was so busy caring for them that she had only fifteen minutes of rest for herself. By the end of each lap, her dogs were forging ahead of his. They seemed to gain in power the further along they got.

At the last rest stop, the rules of the race determined that you had to give your animals the full rest time. Butcher’s lead became unbeatable. Where he was willing to overtax his dogs, she was willing to overtax herself, organizing her efforts around caring for her dogs. After the race, care for herself: a glass of wine, a hot bath and a sleep. It has been observed that in womens’ athletics, the women will stop playing when a team mate is injured, until she has been attended to, while male athletes will more quickly resume their competitive combat. Slowing down for caretaking is obviously a losing strategy in the short run, but a winning strategy in the long run, whether in a two week race across Alask or the life and survival of the human species on a planet that must be cherished for it can never be replaced.


Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist working from 1 Harley Street, London. He also has a clinic available in both North and East London depending on your individual requirements. He works with confidence, self-esteem, depression, anxiety and stress. Alongside this work, he also has experience as  a business coach and a skills trainer.

Versatility

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

I’m in a hotel room in Romsey – I’m working at the moment with a private corporate client over the  next few weeks on rapport in the workplace. The pysche and wellbeing of the managing directors, the employees and how communication can be effective in the workplace.

I also work at several drama schools coaching actors 1-1 on things like confidence, performance anxiety or anything that might crop up in their personal lives (from depression to just wanting to be better at something.)

Similarly, I train therapists and practitioners, coach politicians and consult for various institutions (including a nightclub and a youth offending institution.)

My most common work is working with members of the public. Whether it’s preparing someone for their audition at drama school or working with someone who’s experienced trauma – 1 on 1 work is something I really enjoy.

I like to keep busy -  people who know  me are often bemused how many different hats this entails. I don’t really see it that way, though. For me – they’re all under one umbrella of  working with people.

So why this blog? It’s not intended to be an advertisement for ‘Zack Polanski Hypnotherapy Services’ – it’s intended to suggest a wider point about versatility.

So often I meet people who feel really stuck in their lives, their relationships or their careers. They can’t see a way out or they feel really tied up in their story. Frequently, learning a new skill set is a big jump.

I’d still encourage people to do it sometimes, even if it’s a leap – yet in the meantime, you may not even have to move off the spot. Sometimes you can look at your feet, turn yourself around and just face in a different direction. This alternative perceptual position can be enough that you can begin to see new angles and ideas upon your perspective – something that can have seemed so difficult or impossible, can come within your reach.

As a therapist, a communicator, a philosopher, a mentor and a coach -  guiding you to find that new position and encouraging you to take that leap is often my specialist area. I’d love to help.

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at 1 Harley Street, London. W1G 9UD.  07738088632 or info@zackpolanski.com

Friday, May 13th, 2011

It’s been a really interesting month with a variety of themes emerging amongst my client work.

I’ve become increasingly curious about factors that promote change in a person. Whether it’s because they want to quit smoking, be less anxious, stop being phobic of something or to just live a relaxed life – to find the commonality that is often the straw that breaks the camels back.

There’s an (apparently) old adage I heard this week – ‘The roads not crowded along the extra mile.’ It really resonated with me in terms of those clients who make incredible changes – there’s often an internal congruency that they bring to our work together which just allows them to push through those barriers that may have been there before.

Often though, clients will come to see me because they can’t break through those barriers and they feel stuck. They feel like they’ve tried every logical thought pattern they could think of – they could write a thesis around their issue(s) yet they can’t seem to quite let go. That’s where I become really interested in knowing not only how I motivate people through our session work together but what is it that finally clicks in a person – that keeps them more effective and happier once our sessions are over.

It’s definitely an area to consider as we create a field that is absolutely not about codependency but the empowerment of each and every individual. There’s nothing codependent necessarily about seeing help for change – it’s just ensuring the help is short term to get the individual on to their feet and moving again in a relatively short amount of time.

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist. Based at 1 Harley Street, London – he regularly sees clients from Central London, North, East, South, West and the rest of the UK and Europe.

He works regularly on issues such as lack of self esteem, confidence, depression, phobia and anxiety. Call 07738088632 or e-mail at info@zackpolanski.com

Saturday, February 5th, 2011

I rarely show early drafts of my work but I’m writing a piece for publication in the National Council of Hypnotherapy Journal and i’m very conscious of making potentially complicated and abstract concepts into relatively easy reading. I’d really appreciate feedback, as always. This is the first part of 3;

A Clients’ personal flexibility or how to ride your bike on the Underground.

My poor bike. It’s windy and I’m cycling through North London to Swiss Cottage Library. It’s a Saturday, and I generally take a break from seeing clients and have some self-reflection and study time. I’ve recently had a pattern of cycling to a random location and reading some of the work of Gregory Bateson – who the following musings are largely inspired and indebted to. Bateson was a anthropologist, cyberneticist and philosopher among other things. John Grinder, co-creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programmng often credits him as being an influence upon his thinking.
I’m not really thinking about these things as I’m cycling though, I’m more wondering why I didn’t just get the tube. Camden Town to Swiss Cottage is just a few stops, although I’d still have to deal with the wind when I came out of the underground and walked to the library. Whereas the beauty of cycling is that you can pull up right out the front door.
There’s a much more abstract concept at play here, though. Although such a simple decision isn’t necessarily a collarary into thinking about the nature of one’s own existence – it nevertheless exists inherently within it. It’s a principle that lies at the heart of Bateson’s posthumous work finished by his daughter Angels Fear – An Investigation Into the Nature and Meaning of the Sacred.
On the tube, there is a very definite route which one can go to in a determined groove. It will be fast and it’s pretty certain where exactly (within a small margin of platform difference) your destination will be. It doesn’t allow for flexibility though and the choice of speed or route is very much determined by an other (ie the tubedriver and in turn, the tube controller.)
On the bike, I have a huge range of flexibility (within reason if I’m choosing to stay within the confines of the law) and now within a much larger boundary, but a boundary nonetheless, I can determine my own speed and journey – presumably in relation to the traffic around me. Yet, even with an indicative map in my pocket, I have little idea of the terrain around me or the traffic on this particular day.
It occurs to me as I’m blowing in the wind that the tube seems so attractive today. I wouldn’t have to make the choice out of a couple of options that currently all seem like they all have a slight taint of the unattractive and weather beaten.
Dealing with those conditions, when the tube would have lead me to the same place anyway – but would it have been the journey itself that mattered?
It’s one of a series of questions that has plagued and excited philosophers, the religious, the curious and scientists for generations and I don’t intend to solve it within my brief two wheeled expedition. I’m too busy gripping on for dear life for that and avoiding unyielding black cab drivers who I’m convinced have a sole intention this morning of removing one more cyclist from the hoard!
It’s interesting when we place these questions within the context of the therapeutic work we do. So many different methodologies, practices, subbranches, principles, presuppositions, ideas and models – before we even begin to look at the diversity in the clients themselves. Accepting the idea that at least at an unconscious level, every client has an intention in being in this space with you (otherwise they’d simply be somewhere else doing something else,) what principles or ideas are going to operate at the level of deterministic thinking over free will? Are you going to encourage your client to ride the tube with all it’s rigidity but certainty? Or are you going to encourage your client to ride their bike with all it’s flexibility but overwhelming choice?
I think, only from personal observation, that there’s a left leaning liberal factor to being a therapist. It’s certain inherent in the original presuppositions of NLP and Korzybski’s ‘The map is not the territory.” I think it’s a wonderful premise to work from which is my thinking for a consequence for clarity would be to consider that the territory is not the territory either. I’d imagine, and hope, that most therapists would instinctively presume that they don’t particularly use much ‘tube thinking’ with their clients. Railroading ideas and imposing their own maps, and what they perceive to be their values and beliefs on other people.
Stop and consider, though. How many times, if any, have you suggested to a client that as a result of seeing you they will now notice a change? Even if you haven’t suggested it explicitly, it’s implicit in the the very fact they came to see you with an issue or a problem. How many times, if any, have you said because of the anchor or the suggestive induction, they will now be free of their phobia or temptation to smoke? This is all endemic of Cause and Effect thinking.
A caveat here. Cause and Effect, which you may recognise as being utilised to a large extent by Milton Erickson, is embedded within our language. It’s there every time we ask a ‘Why’ question and it’s because (there I go again!) of this, or rather as a consequence, that it can be difficult to leave behind the shackles of tube line thinking.
There’s an argument to be had here that generally someones issues or problems in life are as a result of cause and effect thinking- so isn’t it better that we use the same thinking patterns to deprogramme them? It can work, and it can work effectively but is it ethical? Are we not merely turning a person from an unhappy robot to a happy robot, rather than encouraging a deeper epistemological change at the unconscious level into not being an obstacle in the space in which the development of a fully functioning human being unshackled from such restraints can flourish?
By way of demonstration, in his most accessible work Mind and Nature; A Necessary Unity – Bateson asks us to consider playing billards. We could take the best mathematicians and geometrists in the world, and they could correctly predict to an amazingly accurate quantification the exact angle and location at which the ball will cease to roll at once hit with the snooker cue.
If you replaced the billard cue with an animal, a cat for example, and chose to kick the cat (I really don’t condone animal violence but the hypothetical serves the example well) – there’s no possible way of ever predicting where the cat will land. The cat has choice. It can run, bite , scratch, hide, or give us a behaviour we could never expect. The cat is it’s own organic system within the wider system of the context of the situation and interacting with the other systems (ie The person kicking it and even the observers of the experiment.)

It’s getting cold and I need to concentrate on the road. To be continued….

UPDATE: I appreciate that the Journal Publication are fairly stringent in that their articles should ONLY be published in the journal. However, this first draft will be so unrecognisably different from the finished product, I don’t anticipate an issue. It is only the themes that shall remain the same and this is merely a playground in which to present them.

Saturday, January 15th, 2011

This week has been a really interesting week of working with people; From seeing people with phobias, to anxiety disorders, addictions, depression and obsessive behaviour.

Something that’s really struck me about the work I do with people is their bravery. There are very few universals in the clients that I see- and everyone is very unique and different- but there’s something deeply touching about people’s wants, needs and desires to change. Often when people have come to see me, they’ve given up in the past and that’s how they’ve let their problem(s)/issue(s) get to a level where they really desire to make a change or they’re so keen to improve their lives from the state they feel they’re already in- that they go at it with full force.

I was reflecting on this when I read a passage last night from Irvin Yalom’s “The Gift Of Therapy” and there was a short passage which really struck a chord;

“Heddeger spoke of two modes of existence; the everyday mode and the ontological mode. In the everyday mode we are consumed with and distracted by material surroundings- we are filled with wonderment about how things are in the world. In the ontological mode we are focused on being per se- that is , we are filled with wonderment that things are in the world. When we exist in the ontological mode- the realm beyond everyday concerns- we are in a state of particular readiness for personal change.”

The key phrase I believe is the latter. Clients don’t usually get through my door until they’re already ready to begin to make that personal change- and being ready to make a difference in any aspect of your life often requires bravery.

The Catch 22 is that i’m not wholly sure if it’s the bravery that creates readiness or vice versa or if actually they’re both just fueling along. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter- the important part is the decision. Are you ready, and indeed brave enough, to make changes in your life?

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist at 1 Harley Street, London. W1G 9QD

The Lewis Clinic is a clinic of hypnotherapists working from the centre of London at Harley St, but also includes many clients from North, South, East and West.

Resolve?

Saturday, December 11th, 2010

It’s that time of year and it’s almost too easy at this time of year for me to write another blog about your New Year’s Resolutions. I’m going to, though – it just might not be the blog that regular clients, new clients or those who are reading this purely out of inital interest particularly expect.

Increasingly, as the years go by- i’m considering more and more how much of an excuse New Year can often be to create unintended resolutions. It’s almost as if inherent inside the idea of a time bound proposal, is the proposition that actually it doesn’t need to be adhered to. Oh, If I want to eat what I want to eat until New Year, or smoke extra amounts of cigarettes or procrastinate even more – that’s fine because i’ve set myself the target of January 1st. This would be fine (and it completely is fine, if it’s working for you) apart from often unconsciously because we’ve not really dealt with the root consequences of why we want to lose weight, stop smoking, stop procrastinating, boost our self esteem- or whatever it might be- we’re lucky if we get to February.

In Feburary we don’t really beat ourselves up though, as we were never that resolved to do anything in the first place. We were just trying it out- and now all the hype has faded, so does our motivation. This all seems a really gloomy perspective, don’t you think?

So, here’s the deal.  In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with New Year’s Resolutions. As an arbitary date in the calendar year when we can start to improve the quality of how we want to live our life- it is quite handy. Other people are doing it, there’s encouragement all around, it’s not a date you’re going to forget for when you started the new you- and if you resolve to have targets really met by January 1st 2012- there’s a real calibration point in which you can compare difference.

Here’s the crux of it, though. Recognise the time scale is arbitary. You’re not making these changes for the magazines, for your friends or family (primarily) or to suit some ancient time keeping system handed down by the ancient Egyptians – you’re making changes for you. Because you want a better quality of life. You want to achieve your maximum potential. And because you are already, and can do so much more of what you want. When you’re ready to make those sorts of changes, give me a call and together we can really smash 2011.

Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist working at The Lewis Clinic, 1 Harley Street. Working mainly with actors, athletes and politicians as well as private clients – he is well known for his ability to achieve lasting results. Phone for a discussion or to book an appointment, on 07738088632 or alternatively e-mail at info@zackpolanski.com

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

I went to a seminar yesterday (The School of Life) on The Art of Being Cool.

It had some really interesting ideas; I don’t want to simply reguritate them on this blog as i’d be depriving people of having the experience of themselves.

What it did do though, was spark some similar thoughts within me to related topics.

I left really considering how cool is hard to define. It’s this idea that it’s unknowable, unattainable and unanalysable – but none of that is necessarily true. As soon as you put those blocks in the way, then of course it is all of those things.

I’m much more interested though in the intention of someone being cool. What are we working to achieve? What are we wanting? What are we hoping for?

How does being cool in that circumstance help us rather than being flustered? Or being energetic? Or dare i say it…being uncool?

Of course in terms of behaviour or state, then cool is suprassed by a New Code NLP Intervention. In working towards a high performance state, the state of ‘cool’ isn’t even recognised. It could be contained within the greater state – and it’s just not given a label.

How does this work out in practice? Well, if i’m working with an actor or an athlete – rather then working on being ‘cool’ or being ‘focussed’ – we work on a higher intention. We essentially hand responsibility over to the unconscious and ask it to use all the resources inside to choose the best possible response within the contextual situation.

This is different to what many people refer to as NLP or Classic Code NLP in which we consciously choose a behaviour and decide we always want to be ‘confident’ or ‘relaxed.’ This is taking things a step further.

And that’s cool.

For more information, I invite you to give me a call on 07738088632 or just drop me an e-mail at info@zackpolanski.com

I work with people for performance coaching, depression, stress, phobias and anxiety. I also work a lot with issues around confidence and self-esteem.

Zack Polanski M.N.C.H (Lic) Dip CHyp HPD PNLP

Cognitive Hypnotherapist and NLP New Code Practitioner

1 Harley Street, W1G 9QD

Mobile: 07738088632

Email: info@zackpolanski.com