It’s been a really interesting week.
Not just politically and not just because the weather has been going to and fro but a really common theme in everything that i’ve heard both with clients and the public around me is this idea of resolutions and compromise
Some of them have been the obvious stuff like ‘i want to lose weight,’ or ‘i don’t want to smoke anymore’ and some have been more unusual. I saw a father for his final (5th) session who’s final aim was to be more understanding with his children. And then interestingly, there was one lady who’d experienced a form of trauma and wanted to start this month by leaving it behind.
As always in my blogs, I checked that she didn’t mind me talking about it as long as I left her anonymous.
The abuse aside, looking forward to the future was a real moment for her. She’d never taken that time to really think about what she wanted. And the actual content of it, in the end, turned out not to matter- much more important and profound for her was the process of how she was going to get it and how she was going to divert around not getting what she’s not wanting.
We spoke on the phone, just an hour ago which prompted the blog entry- and she just said that she felt the hour together had really made an impact on her life.
The idea of “What makes us tick?”
Tony Robbins would suggest that there are several factors;
1) Certainty – Do you like surprises? Ha. Only the ones that you wanted. Everything else we label as a problem.
2) Uncertainty- What happens if you only had certainty in your life? You’d be bored, right?
3) Significance- We’re all striving for this in some way. Some do it through financial means, others by striving for intellectual precidence and others by meaning something to their partner. We often see it in youth through violence; if there’s no other way out, they can strive to cause damage to others.
4) Love/Connection- Everyone wants the first, but sometimes when we get scared; maybe we can just settle for the second. This is what Robbins suggests in his most recent book.
Whilst I think these are useful models, I think it’s important to take them for what they are- models. Ultimately, it has to be about what does the individual want?
So here’s the question?
What do you want in your life right now? Do you want to be free of that phobia? Not feel anxiety any more? Not to suffer from lack of confidence or insecurity?
And if any of those, what is it that you actually want?
Do you just need to feel ok? Or how about maybe, just maybe, you want to feel great?
Whatever it is, intentionally setting a conscious target can only point you in the right direction.
Zack Polanski is a Cognitive Hypnotherapist and NLP New Code Practitioner. For information prior to booking an appointment, call on 07738088632 or alternatively e-mail at info@zackpolanski.com
